One … freakin … month!!
Technically I am on day thirty … four? I think? today.
Before I stopped drinking, I would sometimes look at “one month sober” blogs, or other online articles. “Ocsober,” “Dry July,” etc. Giving up drinking for one month was all I could contemplate or even admit was a good idea. I read in one of these that it’s good to give up drinking one month each year “just to prove you can.” This is where the bananas thought experiment comes in handy again. Who would say that it was good to give up bananas for a month each year just to prove you can?
One blog that I found was “Year of Living Sober.” The guy’s year has ended now, and I think somehow I expected him to keep it up after he started drinking again, as a way of proving that a year off could serve as a “reset” of his drinking habits, that he could drink more like a “normal person” (whatever that means). Maybe I thought so because that’s what I wanted. But he hasn’t kept it up. He said he wanted to do to prove he could (just like those bananas!). I’ll be curious if he ever posts an update.
Anyway, I would read these blogs and articles looking for … something to identify with, I guess. But if I read that giving up alcohol was really difficult, it confirmed that this was something I better not attempt to do. If I read that it was easy, I thought, “well, obviously this person is not like me.”
It’s funny. What was I looking for then, really?
So here I am, more than one month sober and I am finding it surprisingly easy. Yes, there have been moments—moments where I crave alcohol either as part of a ritual (our anniversary dinner!) or as a coping mechanism for some stressful situation. But those moments pass, they really do. The ritual is really not that different without alcohol, the stressed-out feeling passes whether you take a drink or not. If anyone is reading this because they are thinking about giving up alcohol and it seems like an insurmountable challenge, please know that I thought so too.
Take the leap—it’s worth it.
Stick a fork in me ... I'm done 
I need to remember that banana bit. 🙂
It really helps put things in perspective … thanks for commenting!
Thanks for keeping up with the blog for about two years now. I am only on day three of being sober, though it isn’t my first try. I am happy that I can read about your first 30 day experiences and know that you still have continued. It’s helpful to know I am not alone. 🙂
Thank you. I too have embarrassed myself in front of my children. I too read the “one year sober” blog and wished he would stay sober. I too loved Vicodin after my first pregnancy, for all the reasons you describe. I too obsess and love my obsessions.
I’m on day four today. Thanks for letting me know there is someone out there who is like me.
Glad this post helped. 🙂 I am almost three years sober now and it’s the best thing I ever did. Sending good thoughts your way. 🙂